Why Hesed? Loyal Love

HESED HOPE MINISTRIES 

Many people ask what hesed means, so I decided to put the intro page or our training manual reprinted here, in response to this often asked question. 

Why Hesed? 

Hesed is a word that embodies all the characteristics of God.  It is an untranslatable word that attempts to define an untranslatable God.  

Hesed can translate as love, and has many uses under the umbrella of “love.”  Some translations of hesed include kindness, mercy, loving-kindness, loyalty, unexpected favor, unsolicited love, unmerited forgiveness, enemy love, or compassionate grace. The idea that hesed expressed grace, is what caused the translators of the King James Bible to translate with words like mercy and kindness. 

The translators of the New International Version tend to translate hesed with the English word love, and though that is also an accurate translation identifying with God’s commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself”, it tends to omit the covenantal meaning intertwined in God’s hesed. 

The New Revised Standard Version translates hesed as steadfast love, to express it as the “promise keeping love” that is implied in its various Hebrew uses. The steadfast love of the Lord keeps us: “When I thought, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.” Ps. 94:18. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgression.” Ps 51:1. 

Steadfast love has the concept of loyalty. The loyalty of God:  redemption from enemies and troubles; in preservation of life from death; in quickening of spiritual life; in redemption from sin; in keeping the covenants, with Abraham; with Moses and Israel.

The loyalty of man in: kindness of men towards men, in doing favors and benefits; kindness extended to the lowly, needy and miserable; mercy. 

“Steadfast love is the long, stubborn love of God. In hesed God stays faithful to us long after we have forfeited our right to remain in covenant with him.” 

Jesus is hesed incarnate. God did not take pleasure in sacrificing His only son, but he takes pleasure in securing our relationship to Him. He desires for us to feel secure in His infinite and steadfast love towards us so we may exemplify that love towards others. 

Hesed us the steadfast love of God to the Israelites, Ruth to Naomi (Ruth 1:16), Jonathan to David (I Sam. 20:14-17), and Christ towards us, as Paul writes, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord: (Rom. 8:38:39)

More Hesed Scriptures:

Ps. 136 The word translated love is hesed.

 Hesed in God remembering His people: Jeremiah 12:15; Ezekiel 39:25; Isaiah 30:18, 63:9; Habakkuk 3:2; Samuel 24:14; Psalm 23:25-26; 40:11; 51:1; 69:16; 79:8; 103:4. 

OUR MINISTRY SCRIPTURE:

⁸He has shown all you people what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.                  Micah 6:8

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.        Matt. 23:23-24 

HOW ARE WE TO EXPRESS GOD’S HESED?

 Rabbi Simlai in the third century noted that Moses gave us 365 prohibitions and 248 positive commands. David in Psalm 15 reduced them to eleven: Isaiah—in 33:14, 15—made them six: Micah 6:8 binds them into three: and Habakkuk reduces them all to one, namely—”The just shall live by faith.”  (Hab. 2:4); (Romans 1:17)

So, by being “steadfast” and “loyal” to the THREE most recent positives set forth by Micah, executed by the ONE (faith) stated by Habakkuk – knowing faith without works is dead, being alone, we express God's hesed - through loyal acts of love in action and deeds. (James 2:20) 

In ministry and in our personal lives, we have learned that it is only HOPE in God's loyal love, His covenant grace, that has kept our feet firm in the darkest hours of our lives, and the lives of those we minister to. Hesed Hope - hope in God's loyal love.

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Volunteer Focus

Due to a lack of trained staff in Vermont, we are sending volunteers to other organizations to volunteer.

We are collaborating with some churches in our district to provide pastoral care as the disaster unfolds in areas south of Rutland. 

Please pray for Vermont, especially the faith based organizations that have limited funding, but are striving to show the love of God.

BINGHAMTON / OWEGO NY

Volunteers are needed for Binghamton and Owego, NY for mud outs and general clean up.

We will be there on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of this week (16 to 18th) Meals and housing is provided. Just bring yourselves, compassion, and a willingness to serve.




Mature Pastors and other lay leaders and mature Christians with CPE, or Disaster Experience are needed to provide pastoral care as well. One to two week deployments. Meals and housing provided. Email me for more details. jamie@hesedhope.org


Please contact me at jamie@hesedhope.org; www.hesedhope.org

If you can't give of your time or are limited in helping due toe health reasons, financial Donations are always appreciated and help to get other people in the field. You can donated via paypay on our web page. www.hesedhope.org 

Volunteers and Chaplains Needed for State Wide and Local Clean Up in VT and NY

We are collaborating with VOAD and other state and local organizations to develop teams of volunteers for "Mud Out".

We need volunteers willing to donate a day, or several days to help home owners clean up their homes. Older youth groups and adults are welcome.

We also need pastoral care providers, chaplains and especially those with CISM and disaster experience for deployments lasting one week or more if possible.

We will find local housing and meals.

Last, we need churches throughout NY and VT who will house and provide meals for volunteers in the communities near them who were hit by Irene. 

The safest and most effective way to help, is by joining up with an established organization like ours. 

People are often prevented from going into sights that are not part of a recognized organization, and most importantly, they should be. During disasters many volunteers are injured because they become a liability to the rescue operation due to a lack of knowledge or experience. Even the most skilled of us end up injured at times, as we learned on our recent disaster with two injuries. Disaster sights and disasters are unpredictable.

At this time, VT still has many roads closed and even a small rain fall can cause the already existing situations to become hazardous again, stranding volunteers who them become victims of the disaster.

We are in constant contact with state and local authorities to stay abreast of road and weather hazards, as well as where we are most needed.

Please sign up with Hesed Hope for Mud Out and other volunteer opportunies by writing to me at:
jamie@hesedhope.org

 And visit our web page at: www.hesedhope.org

What Exactly Do We Do???? - Sheep Needed for Hurrican Irene, Signed Jesus

 Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

"...‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 

[ 'For my home was destroyed and you took me in, my belongings were gone and you provided for me, I was in pain, and you visited me to show your love and compassion.']"

“Then the righteous will answer him, ['Lord, when was your home destroyed and I took you in, your belongings gone and I provided for you, in pain and I visited you to show my love and compassion?’]"

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did  for one of the least of  these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."...

                                                                                                                                  Matthew 25:31 -40

WHAT DO WE DO?

We are a small developing ministry building crisis and disaster response teams; training and equipping the church to be effective ministers of love and compassion. Sheep.

We are similar to Billy Grahams Rapid Response Team (of who we are also members, but now called to build more teams).  BGEA works alongside Samaritan's Purse. BGEA does the spiritual care- SP the practical helps. We do both on a much smaller scale (so far) as we build our trained spiritual care teams, and provide help anywhere we are needed. We also train others to provide effectively for local crisis response, when we are not needed for disasters. (Visit our web page)

What we do not have, is an international budget nor salaries. We  do not have a professional  photographer, nor the man- power to always have pictures to show the work we are doing - like right now. We also have the sensitivity to respect the privacy of who we are working with, so pictures are not always a priority.

100% of donations go to deployments - we do not even reimburse ourselves for many expenses, fully committed to this ministry. I (Jamie) am acting director, and ordained and endorsed as a chaplain - do not take any pay, working more than full time. None of our board members of staff are paid.

The majority of donations from large corporations like Walmart, now go directly to the Red Cross, making the task of grants and fundraising difficult, and time consuming, for small scale operations and other NGO's. (You will no longer see Teen Challenge outside Walmart.)

Our volunteers must self-deploy - simply because they love Jesus, and desire to share His love and compassion with others - we are able to provide housing, most meals, and usually on-sight transportation for our volunteers.

We are not all professionals - though we have a mixture of professionals and "lay" persons. We are recruiting teams that include mental health, chaplains, R.N.'s, fire and rescue - peers of all types, men and women.

We had truly hoped to get more people interested in training before a disaster hit - especially locally, but everything happens in His time.

Now is the time. The secular world is responding in droves. This is our opportunity - the church - to show the sacrificial love of Jesus - in action. 

We need financial donations for expenses, material donations of cleaning supplies, and  MATURE CHRISTIAN VOLUNTEERS. 

We will be driving trucks down to Schenectady to pick up donations from Convoy of Hope, tomorrow morning - renting a truck if we do not have one provided. 

We have a team in VT hiking into the hills to minister to people cut off, at the invitation of the Red Cross.  (Perhaps pictures and stories will follow tonight) 

We are in contact with non-government and government officials. 

We are in this for the long haul. We COVET your prayers for the victims of this disaster in NY and VT, safety of our volunteers, and provision for this work to continue. 

Please stay tuned to this blog for daily reports and needs. Please post your availability, or contact me with your contact information at: jamie@hesedhope.org 

In His Loving Service,

Jamie and Dave and Hesed Hope Staff

www.hesedhope.org 

An Intimate Conversation with Jesus

Our "green pastures"

 I was praying this morning and had some very intimate time with the Lord.

I have been home for 3 days now, and typical of my reactions to working in trauma is that my emotions peak about day 3 of my return. Last night I watched, "A Walk to Remember" thinking it may be good to cry. I was wrong - it would have been better to laugh. I woke up very fatigued and in the midst of some self- pity. I was in need of some genuine Jesus time to renew my strength. If Dave had been here, I most likely would have turned to him. God has worked this situation to my good, even in my reluctance to accept His will in Dave's absence.

I was praying for others and meditating on His word, when I looked out the window admiring the amazing beauty of God's creation - the mountain views, the ponds and animals, the green grass and trees - the PEACEFUL setting - all the many blessings Dave and I enjoy in our property.

My prayer shifted to the rare but occasionally real presence of God that seems as easy as chatting over coffee - (something I long for on a daily basis and have found more since Dave is not here to have coffee with me) something like this:

Me - "My Lord, you ask too much of me. My family will be scattered and I won't have the beauty of the mountains to bring me peace. My whole life I longed for the life I have now. How can you take this away? What of Dave? He loves this life even more than I do. "

Jesus - "My child, I think this conversation you need to call me Jesus, and see me as Your friend, and not your Lord or God."  (John 15:15)

Me - "My Lord, I cannot obey you in this move if I do not see you as my Lord. Would a friend ask another to make such a painful sacrifice?"   (John 15:13)

Our creek and waterfall

Jesus - "Jamie, What you see as a sacrifice, I see as a promotion - a door to open, an opportunity to be grasped. Don't you wish for your friends that they grab a hold of all that I have for them?"  (Prov. 3:5; Jer.29:11)

Me - "It does not feel like an opportunity, but another possible trial. A loss, a  lonely and fearful readjustment to all things new. [Our 19th move] The loss of church family, our friends. More loss for my children. I am afraid that if I live in the suburbs, I won't be able to find You. You will be as lost to me as the mountain views. I find YOU in the peace of country life. I have always know the glory of God through the heavens at night - even as child. I longed for what you have given me - a glimpse of heaven in my life. I leave pain and destruction to find peace here.  Jesus, YOU know this. You ask too much. "  (I Cor. 2:9)

Jesus - "Jamie, I have never asked you to do anything that you can't handle. Even when you believed I asked too much, you were both able to bear it. You have endured all things by My strength - you both have. You will handle this too - together- and glorify me. Together, you and Dave will grow through this. He will love me more." (I Pet. 3:6b -7; James 1:2-4)

Me - "Lord, you think too much of me - too highly of me. Ask what You will, but I may not glorify You through it all. I am afraid that my old ways will rise up and I will be angry with You. That I will only see you as Lord, and not my Friend. I will need Your help - your grace, and your strength. We both will."  (Isaiah 41:10)

Jesus - "Jamie, when you look at the stars, you see the glory of God and find peace there. But when I look at you I see the face of God. I see the beauty of my creation and my own likeness, I see LOVE. When you minister to others - you do it because you love me. You see me in them. Will you let me minister to you because you believe I love you? That in you I see the image of my Father? You are my friend, because I chose you."(Gen 1:27; I John 4:7; 5:1; Matt. 25:40; John 15:16)

Me - " I believe Jesus. Help me with my unbelief.  Help me to see myself through Your eyes. Will you hold me Jesus, like Dave does?" (Matt. 9:23-24)

"My child, I already am.  My embrace encircles you both, you just need to lean back and rest in my arms. Trust me Jamie. Have I let you down before?" (I Cor. 10:13; John 14:27)

Me - "I trust you Jesus, but you better not let go, the fall from a horse hurts way more now at 52."

I felt His smile and the warmth of His embrace. 

Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 
Take delight in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. 
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

The Holy Bible : Today's New International Version. 2005 (Ps 37:3–7). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
   

Jesus, Joplin, Justification

Truck - chassis wrapped completely around the tree.

5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 

Hospital in Joplin - completely destroye

I cried during worship today. I turned and saw my son-in-law Matt holding our 3 year old daughter Keira and thoughts of Alabama and Joplin flooded in. The unwanted image of a 3 year old child being sucked out of her mothers arms assaulted me as I sang about how awesome our God is. I can still feel the tears that fell on my arm as I prayed for the individual who told me the story - and the helplessness that was in his eyes.  I vividly recalled the young women who found the remains of her grandfather - complete with all the horribly gory details that I never imagined I would choose to hear in this lifetime. There was the young women who spoke of climbing over bodies of her friends after her apartment was leveled; or the story of the mom with her 3 children climbing over bodies and twisted metal to flee a destroyed  building - she is terrified to leave her children now for the traumatic responses it causes. The man who ran with his newborn infant in his arms and the screams of his wife became distant. He turned and realized - she was gone - sucked up into the whirlwind. The multitudes of children who now look daily at once green yards and trees that they climbed,  turned into a barren wasteland of debris, and stripped, dead, trees - many are now afraid of the storms.

All that is left standing - the cross

Jesus wept. Quite possibly my favorite scripture.

Our God is awesome, and Jesus is our wounded healer. As we sang praises about how great and wonderful our God is, I know I sing more loudly, more passionately and with more conviction than ever before. For the last 4 years, every death call, every intervention, every prayer offered on behalf of hurting humanity - only brings me closer to the suffering Savior and his redemptive work on the cross. The people who didn't think they needed a 'god' find themselves thanking Him, or tell the tale of crying out to Him for mercy during the storm and feeling the presence of an 'unseen power' in their midst. The multitude who lived through the unlivable, praise the God they did not know for the things that He did in preserving their lives. As my WWII, Normandy Beach, D-Day, Dad used to say, "You don't find athiests in a foxhole." There were a lot of foxholes in Alabama and Joplin.

The number of deaths in Joplin do not measure the total destruction to large areas of the city. F5's are without partiality or mercy in their devastation. Many survivors know this, and praise Him.  There are death stories - but there are a multitude of life stories - thousands of them in several states. God causes the sun to rise on the just and un-just alike. Why do some live while others die? Only God knows - we are here to rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn.(Rom. 12:15) To comfort others with the comfort we have ourselves been comforted with. (II Cor. 1:3) We are chaplains, "for such a time as this." (Es. 4:14)

I was given permission to share Richie's story. I am partial to Richie since he shares the same name as my favorite songwriter. Richie lived through Katrina and Rita, and moved north to Joplin 3 years ago. Richie's house was moved about 10 feet from it's foundation while he and his wife and two grandchildren huddled in the hallway. The house is destroyed and will be bulldozed. They are now living in a pop-up trailer. I met Richie as I walked an area looking for families to help. Richie was being helped by a church group cutting down trees when I met him. As we spoke, he mentioned he hadn't had a chance to really share his story yet - he had been so busy with taking care of the necessary, he had not had time for the truly necessary - his emotional and spiritual state. Richie teared up when I told him I had all day if he needed, and he began to pour out his heart. Katrina was tough, but he was a seaman - he was ready and they evacuated. He knew how to handle hurricanes. But they have moved up here to get away from the storms - going through two was enough. There had been enough losses in his life already. He was agitated, nervous, having trouble sleeping - to name a few. We covered a lot of critical incident stress information and I left him with handouts. He was thankful to learn he was not going crazy, but his reactions were normal, for the event.

Notice foundation to the right - destroyed house is to the left of the trailer.

I prayed with Richie and he teared up again - he then spoke about his faith having been increased by the storm, and knowing God was real. It was an opportunity for me to talk about Jesus and His presence and Richie listened attentively. He knew that God was with him, but he needed to know that he was with God - a son of God - loved by God. We prayed again, and Richie understood that his relationship with God was sealed by Jesus - his covenant was sure - he was justified by his faith in Jesus.

"Suffering produces endurance..." What a blessing it is to come alongside the suffering and help them to endure the race set before them. God's love has and is being poured into the hearts of the suffering - believers and unbelievers alike. What a privilege to be a minister of the hope of Jesus to others, by being a living, breathing presence of the hope of Jesus Christ in action. Thank you Lord for an opportunity to serve the ones you suffered for.

We need trained team members. If you are anyone you know is CISM trained and wants to serve with us, please pass this one. If you are ready to begin CISM training and working with us,  you know where to find us. The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few. We are praying diligently for workers to join us in the harvest.


The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Ro 5:1–5). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

Steel Convictions

Luciana is my compassion stress therapy.

     " Every time we think of you, we thank God for you. Day and night you’re in our prayers as we call to mind your work of faith, your labor of love, and your patience of hope in following our Master, Jesus Christ, before God our Father. It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special. When the Message we preached came to you, it wasn’t just words. Something happened in you. The Holy Spirit put steel in your convictions.
      5–6      You paid careful attention to the way we lived among you, and determined to live that way yourselves. In imitating us, you imitated the Master. Although great trouble accompanied the Word, you were able to take great joy from the Holy Spirit!—taking the trouble with the joy, the joy with the trouble."






If I was to base what we have done (Hesed Hope), based on donations received, team size, or doors thrown open, I would not consider us very successful so far. But we do not measure what we have done, or will do as man does. Yes, there is a "business side" to operating a ministry, but true success is not measured by the same scale as the world, but by the spirit of God. '

I told Dr. George Wood (AG Superintendent) when I met him one year ago, that our ministry was very small, and that I really did not know what our future held, but that my conviction came from knowing that each day, I am in God's will - one day at a time. Today, yesterday, and in Joplin, I know I have been in God's will. In the midst of trials (Alabama had plenty) I have been diligent to be exceedingly prayerful in the ministry for God's will and purposes. Even today, I told my son Elijah, that if someday this ministry fell by the way side, shrunk and disappeared, I would not have felt that I missed God's call, or His will in it. To me, it will never be measured in the size of our pocket book, or in the size of our mobilized teams, but in the lives we touch - one life at a time.

What I ask my team members, is that they be in God's will as well. That they seek God for each deployment and know that God would have them be here. In that way, if we minister to 1, or 100, or 1,000, there will be no questions as to the will of God and His purposes for them.

Tomorrow I meet with a family, and obviously for the sake of confidentiality I would not give details.  I will do all I can to help them, and help them help their kids. I will give them tools for helping each other, and tools to re-assess in the future. I will see where God directs for the weekend, and follow Him where He leads. And when it is all over, if I can know I touched one life with the comfort of Christ - brothers and sisters in Christ, or unbelievers, then the toil is not in vain. The toil is never ending - my daughter in law will tell you that after witnessing my ever ringing phone and emails; and the toil is never, ever in vain.

I have been one hurting individual more than once  in my the past -  and I can only hope that the people who ministered to me would never measure thier successes by financial gain or ministry size, but by the comfort of Christ. Jesus ended up at the cross with just one, but to that one, He was life itself, and the life was glorified and multiplied.

God has put steel in my convictions; and no matter what trouble may accompany the word, I will take great joy in the Holy Spirit.




Peterson, E. H. (2002). The Message : The Bible in contemporary language (1 Th 1:2–6). Colorado Springs, Colo.: NavPress.

"It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." AGAIN

Jen

I have decided that the phrase coined by Dickens is perfect for crisis and disaster response. The emotions can be overwhelming, the work exhausting, and the rewards priceless.

Having my own trauma history and "triggers" have to be ever conscious of what is going on in my life - mindful of my physical emotional reactions. Thus far, those reactions have had nothing to do with the trauma work I do, but with the personality conflicts that arise, or the personal trials at home and away.

Last week, I lost my keys - TWICE. In 36 years of driving I have never lost my keys. The first time truly was not my fault, as I KNOW someone picked them up off my table. Some traumatized individual probably thought they were theirs, and when they got home they may have been confused with the last 20 years worth of random keys on a key hook.

The problem is - rental cars do not give you duplicate keys for security purposes, but instead force you to have the vehicle towed back to the original location and exchanged. With the tires locked, the one car sustained damage to the vehicle when it was bounced off the flatbed truck. Of course, I did not have any insurance coverage because the sheet that I was given for risk and liability had the WRONG fax number on it, and it didn't go through.

The second set of keys...Long story, but I was shopping for a hip pouch to put them in when I lost them. <SIGH> This was hours and hours of "push 3 for....push 1 for...." and a very long drive in a flat bed truck to the airport almost 2 hours away.My 'partner' Jen always came with me, she stated once, "You kiddin' me, I'm not going to leave you alone!" Jen is 21, and is employed as a caseworker for the Salvation Army in MA. Thanks for taking care of me Jen. Your mom would be proud.

While all these car hassles are going on, the internal battery on my computer has died, the fan has died, I am having problems, and praying it makes it till I can purchase a new one. Then I get the news that our second car - Dave's commuter car engine is gone, just 2 weeks after putting over $400 into fixing it.  Joy is home driving our one and only Honda Pilot now - 100k and climbing.

Myra and Angela - my emotional and spiritual care providers!

Since I teach we all have our own grief, I was able to cry - A LOT - in the last two weeks, which really were tears for children, parents, aunts, uncles, grandmothers etc. who had buried loved ones, and witnessed death and destruction that God before sin, never intended any human to endure. It keeps my own trials and losses and perspective and keeps me knowing I can give it all up for Him, and His will for my life. Oh Lord, help us to endure this fallen world with the glimpse of eternity before us.

Working with FEMA has been wonderful and it is obvious there is a real need for a constant chaplain presence to these dedicated individuals. They spend 12 hours a day without any days off (tomorrow is the first day since this began in April) hearing the stories of all the hurting. I am looking into a future presence for the FEMA personnel. I could not do what they do, and I believe our government is going to see negative health impacts of disaster personnel, and probably already have.

I apologize if there are many typos. I am weary and it is really hot (heat index of 105 and such). Just remember that there are people who need trained crisis responders all over the world, and we need you to fulfill that call to ministry. Springfield, MA, Joplin, Alabama, Oklahoma, Haiti, Japan, etc. etc. etc is prophecy coming to pass. The harvest is plentiful and our field workers are very few.
www.hesedhope.org

...Now My Eyes See You...

It has been hard for me to find the words to blog. The destruction of an F5 tornado is beyond words. You see images on television and in the news, but nothing can prepare you for what it really looks like. I wish you could really grasp the pictures you see that show metal wrapped around trees like tin foil. It does not appear like much when I look back at the pictures - it is only the reality of what it is, that affects me.

This is metal - solid metal roofing from homes, the sides of buildings, and mobile homes. Yet in the fingers of an F5, it was like tin foil in the hands of a man. Several tornado victims referred to seeing the F5 approaching and that is was like dark fingers as it closed in. Eerie, terrifying.  I could only begin to imagine the fingers of this killing beast as it tore apart homes and lives as if they were toys. The vivid images of what I saw in video combined with the horrific stories of survivors broke my heart, and left me in awe of the force of these monsters.

As you can see, a brick home was a child's Lincoln logs against the force of the winds. I heard of the concrete foundations being ripped up in places. And basements - many died in their basements as the house caved in on top of them.

The monster force lifted huge trees from their roots and dropped them, as you can see from this picture. Notice that the tree does not have a large hole around it. It was obviously lifted up clean from its roots and dropped back in to lay on it's side in the hole. You only see a small part of what I witnessed about this mammoth tree. I thought of Job 41:8-10, as the Lord spoke rebuked Job with conversations of the strength of Leviathan.

   Lay your hands on him;
remember the battle—you will not do it again!
       Behold, the hope of a man is false;
he is laid low even at the sight of him.
       No one is so fierce that he dares to stir him up.
Who then is he who can stand before me? 


Those that were in the 1/2 mile wedge of this tornado could not stand before it - only the mercy and grace of God, and by His hand were some spared. 

The stories are too many to share, and confidentiality as well as respect for those suffering prevents  me from more but the most vague information. I just pray that you can close your eyes and imagine the indescribable noise of a half mile wide tornado that can do this kind of destruction - seeing it approaching, no time to run, hearing and seeing family members sucked into the air, hearing the screams, cars being lifted before your eyes with loved ones in them, digging through rubble to find an elderly neighbor that was there moments before, hiding in a closet while the building collapses around you killing all others...your wife dead, child dead, husband dead, aunts, uncles, cousins friends. And all of this happens in a small town where many have lived for generations. The rescue squad loses members and those who are digging through the rubble are friends, and related to many. You search for family members for hours, some not found for days, some are still missing. Others find there loved ones - in conditions I won't repeat.

Then imagine going back to dig through the piles that are left to try and find identification papers. And today, one month later, you are still waiting for housing, trying to rebuild your life, that will never ever be the same.  

Wrangler factory. Notice 18 wheeler on top of the debris

Elderly people who lived their whole lives in the same home, now gone. Many did not have insurance - the homes had passed on, or they have worked hard to get them paid off, and they were too poor to have insurance. Most did not have comprehensive on their cars - do you? We can't afford it either. 

Many worked for the Wrangler factory now gone -  I pray Wrangler rebuilds.  The town is gone, the stores are gone.


One young man who lost his wife, I have taken a particular interest in - his whole life has been painful and his present is filled with overwhelming grief. He tries to go on as he cries through his story, "Yes man, Jesus is my Lord and Savior." If you knew his story and depth of his pain you would understand why I ask him, "You are not thinking about taking you life ___ are you?" "No mam. I would not sin against Jesus like that. He is my Lord and Savior and my only reason for living."  

So many faith filled Christians are here. This is one of the few "dry" counties left. No alcohol sold. I have prayed for everyone I met, and cried with most. My prayer has been more than once, that each of them, like Job, would be able to say that they new Him by the hearing of the ear, but now, after love and mercy of God, they will truly see him. 

Now my prayer has been that God will send those who have this vision to help us in ministry - to see chaplains spread through the country and enough help to go around. There is never enough help to go around in this kind of thing. As I serve here, I think of Joplin and wish I could be there too - or send others from Hesed teams. I believe we will deploy to Joplin, I believe we may return here. The work will continue for months. The love and presence of Christ will be needed for months.

As for the Salvation Army. I am honored to be working with this loving and dedicated group of individuals. They serve Jesus from a pure, committed and sacrificial heart. The more I learn about them, the more I admire them.  The army provides food, clothing, help with housing, prescriptions - you name it - they try to provide.  I whole heartedly endorse them and their financial support. They are above board and full of the integrity expected by those who call upon the name of Jesus. 

Today is the one month anniversary of the disaster, and high school graduations took place. It was a sad day for many. 

Tomorrow or Sunday I will blog the miracle stories - the happy ending, or the mixed blessings. 

Until them, may God grant us the love to give all for the sake of Jesus. To be his hands and feet, to shine His light. To be willing to live, or die for His name. Amen. 

In the Absence of Faith, God Is

    I was ordained last Tuesday, May 10th, and considering I spent the majority of my Christian life not believing women should, or could be ordained, this was a true work of the Lord. I don't question God's will in my life anymore, and if by reason of man's limited knowledge I stand before Jesus and learn I have missed the mark in the theological interpretation of womens' roles (don't tell my egalitarian son, Elijah), I am not afraid that his grace covers those who love and serve Him out of a pure heart. 

On being ordained, it has been a wild ride. Over the years I have heard many brothers and sisters in Christ "claim" greatness and set their sights upon things much higher than this homeschool mom of 27 years has. At one time I would have loved to have been something before man - to fill that feeling of inadequacy  as I stood naked before God - just me, a mother to 8 who had tried desperately and failed miserably to lose my sharp tongue, and failed even more at rejoicing in all things.

I repeatedly tell others that if you had said to me 6 years ago that I would be an ordained chaplain, I would have simply thought them a false prophet (seen plenty of those over the years) and with a hard and rebellious heart continued on my path.

Like Job, David and I have gone through many trials to know how to truly put our own thoughts aside and learn to seek the voice, will, and sovereignty of God, in our lives. Unlike Job, we have had an easy time of it - our losses have been few, our trauma's minimal. Yet, His will is (and was) being accomplished in our lives and most importantly, we are learning more and more what it means to hear His voice, and walk in HIS ways.

I understand in part what Job stated, "I know that you can do all things and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted....I will ask You, and You instruct me."

      1      Then Job answered the LORD and said,
      2      “I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
      3      ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
“Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”
      4      ‘Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.’
      5      “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
      6      Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes.” 

During the years of confusion, trials, and brokenness, there were many times that I wanted desperately to believe God. In the midst of pain, the presence of God can seem fleeting. With my background a great emphasis was placed on faith. Mark 9:23-24 seemed a contradiction, Jesus tells the father, "...all things possible to those who believe...." and the father responds, "Lord I do believe, help my unbelief" and yet Jesus healed his son anyway? How can unbelief and belief work together?

Those of the 'hyper faith' movement will tell you they cannot, under any circumstances, ever, work together. With faith, we get all we want, without faith, we get nothing. The presto- chango fix it kind of faith, that is touted in many churches, who want a quick fix, instant gospel answer, to fit in with our microwave, credit card, life is good, society.

In the sovereignty of God, no plan of His can be thwarted. The choice for us is whether He has to break us and remold us, or if he can just mold us from an original lump of clay. If we understand the sovereignty of God, or if we think we can always master, the Master.  I am the type that was molded, broken, and remolded, again, and again, and again.

God is full of mercy, and the father of the epileptic son called out for mercy - for pity. God's plans cannot be thwarted and His mercy is new every morning. In the absence of faith - God is.

"All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth. No one can restrain His hand or say to Him, "What have You done?"Daniel 4:35. 

 

Thankfully I no longer want to restrain God's hand, (most of the time), nor tell Him what to do, or how to do it. I just trust that by His grace and mercy I will stay on the course He has set before David and I, and that   when I feel the need to ask Him, "What have you done?" I will remember, in the absence of faith, God is.


New American Standard Bible : 1995 update. 1995 (Job 42:1–6). LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.
New American Standard Bible : 1995 update. 1995 (Mk 9:23–24). LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.

The Long Ride Home and Some "Funnies"

Fort Lauderdale before flying to Haiti.

We left for the airport early on Wednesday because traffic in Port au Prince can be very bad. As it worked out, we were 3.5 hours early for our flight - no traffic.

While waiting we met some people from the US who started a ministry about an hour out of Pap with a feeding program and clean water being put in, etc. They were bound for Miami 45 minutes after our flight. They asked what I thought of the people, to which I replied, "I fell in love with them." She replied, "How can you not?"

Our flight was "delayed" by 10 minutes but a short while after arrival it was obvious we were not leaving any time soon as they stated "technical difficulties." Those of you who can appreciate how much  LOVE to fly can imagine how ready I was to get on that airplane, so when a  young man told me the flight was canceled, and the airport closed overnight, Dave called Pastor Calixte to come and get us. I was somewhat relieved to not get on THAT plane!

Thank God I asked more questions to discover that even though our flight was canceled, the Miami flight was delaying take off for us to get on board. Everything was being spoken in Creole! They would get us taxis to Fort Lauderdale. Great, but our flight only had 2.5 hours between and I doubted we would make.

While I was arranging for the flight change Dave called and canceled our flight to Plattsburgh with Spirit Air. The problem was - Spirit doesn't fly daily and we we would stranded until Friday and the price had tripled, not to mention cancellation fees. Fitzroy would also miss his flight to Jamaica most likely, but we waited to cancel that.

We arrived in Miami and went through customs where I was asked, "Did you ever report your Passport stolen?" No I replied, I have not even used it in 7 years...." "I did not ask you that, I asked you if you ever reported it stolen?" The friendly demeanor had changed somewhat and I was feeling like a criminal. Repeating the question several times, David's passport was returned to him as I was told, "Stand by the wall until someone comes to get you."

Our little friend!

Meanwhile, Fitzroy has gone through customs and is leaving the area ( you have to) without any minutes on his cell phone. I was finally retrived from my wall side location and taken into a room with about 75 people waiting. "You're kidding me, right? I'm a US citizen!" I say to my escort as we enter the room. "Don't worry ma'm, US citizens get pushed to the front of the line." Wow, I am really feeling badly for the rest.

As time goes by I realize that Fitzroy is...Where? So I suggest that Dave leave to find him and I will be OK. (My imagination was playing out what kind of detainment center they had for "alleged" US citizens, and thankful that I had just left Haiti with peace and patience beyond measure. What's a night in jail? No biggie.)

Dave was now going to have to fill out paperwork to leave me, so they said I was about to be taken back. They were right, and as soon as Dave finished filling it out, we were called. A very nice young man said he did not know what everyone was freaking out over, but he could see that a number was transposed on someone else who HAD reported a passport stolen, but that I could go and he would call Washington to get it straightened out.

L to R. Pastor Solange (orphanage founder) Pastor Daniel & Fitzroy

Where is Fitzroy? Several pages and wandering the airport later I see the flash of his brightly colored orange vest. We had declined American Airlines ride to Fort Lauderdale once they had informed us that since we were not booked all the way with them, ("Um, you don't fly to Plattsburgh, NY!!!) they would not refund us anything for our missed flights.

The detainment with customs meant Fitzroy had missed his flight now for sure, as well.

I thought, surely we can fly out of Miami as easily as FL, and being exhausted we decided to get a hotel. All the hotels are expensive close to the airport and knowing that I had to get back to a room to google flights, we just chose a Best Western and went.  "Almost $200 per night? Seriously?" And we needed two rooms.

On to booking flights - now I discover that Fort Lauderdale flights, are way less expensive than the airfare out of Miami. We are pretty hungry at the point so Dave walks to the Burger King while I book flights. "What, the local fast food all closed at 10 or 11? Really?"

I discover we need to take a TAXI to Fort Lauderdale and fly out of there or pay 3X the price of airfare.
By this time we are out about $1600 in hotel and last minute booked flights .I book the flights, and pay extra to leave later in the day (we could not get up at 3 a.m.!) disapointed that Dave and I can't get seats together on the last leg. Big deal, I just left Haiti where the hearts are thankful in all matters.

Next morning is a quick trip to the airport (thank you Lord, no traffic this time of day) and we leave Fitzroy at Air Jamaica, and head for our flight. Jet Blue is our favorite and the flight from Fort Lauderdale to JFK is smooth. While waiting at the gate at JFK, I tell Dave, "I want to go and see if anyone cancelled to get a seat together." "Looks like a full flight, I doubt it" he replies. "God has been blessing us, I am going to see if we get another blessing."

At the gate I ask the women if anyone has canceled because I was hoping to sit with my husband. She replies that she does not have "two seats together anywhere on the plane." The thought flashes through my mind that Dave would leave it at that, but I say, "I don't need two together, I just need one next to 18c or 15e." She stops typing and looks up at me smiling and says, I just had someone switch a seat from 18!" I reply, "God has been blessing us. He is a good God." (Be instant in season and out of season)

I go back to Dave laughing, dancing and kissing him and he is laughing and saying, "I don't believe it" The woman across the row asks me, "Are you two newlyweds?" I explain that we have 8 kids and 8 grand-kids, to which she replies, "You act like newlyweds." So I jokingly told her to watch more closely that I, "act like a newlywed, he does not!"

Kacey and Joy were there to meet us at the airport, but by then Dave was feeling really, really sick from the large french fry he had eaten (I warned him!) so the ride home was a bit rough.

While in Miami I found out that they found my lost bag at the airport in Pap (a miracle) and that Dave was leaving for Germany for 4 months! "Seriously God, does everything have to be a mixed blessing?" I ask Him with a smile on my face. 

Today (Saturday) Dave gave one week's notice at IBM, and we are both rested and waiting to see what God will do next. Our cows are leaving in a week and we have cash in hand - enough to pay off the extra credit card debt we got in Miami! God provided 100% for the trip, and though our financial "trials" are not yet over, we are confident that we are in His will, and He is full control. We may never own a home again, but our Father knows what we have need of.

Dave with our friend Jeff. (feeling washed out)

Moments of Laughter: 


Dave tans in the summer but this is the north country - need I say more? In Haiti he looked in the tiny mirror a couple of times, or at pictures of himself with others and would ask me, "Do I look washed out to you? I look really white"  I laughed every time and reminded him that we are surrounded by black people so of course we look "really white." "We ARE REALLY white!"

We also laughed over how often we knew people did not understand what we had said, but they would reply, "OK" and how I found myself doing the same thing a couple of times; but they often caught me as well and said so, and we would have a good laugh.  What did I just agree to??? I will not repeat what had transpired here!

Once I was speaking to Pastor Joseph about his upcoming wedding that we that we were invited to attend (and did). I was trying to ask him if the wedding would be "big wedding or a small wedding"  complete with hand gestures to explain myself. Several exchanges later he replied, also with hand gestures, "No,  my wife, she is big."  It was precious.








I was also reminded today as I read thank you notes from the conference attendees, how Pastor Daniel was so used to watching me closely, and translating with expression and my every word, that sometimes he translated my creole into Creole, or translated  English into English. The people would always get a good laugh over that!

Today I read, "Before the seminary I was sad, I was very sad," and I recalled Daniel reading it to me when we were working on translations in Haiti. It was already in English and so he read it in English and then stated, "They are saying they were very, very, sad."  To which I burst out laughing and replied, "Really, Daniel,  were they sad?" as he realized what he had done and we both had a good laugh.

 

And of course I will never forget David capitalizing on having 8 children and showing off with macho gestures to get the people laughing. Who ever thinks Dave is shy has not seen him in ACTION! Oh, my!

Pastor Simone - Port au Prince church of 3,000+ 

 

In reading all the thank you's I am also reminded how they are all written to "Pastor David and his wife." God is keeping me humble  - I get ordained, do all the work, all the writing, and all the teaching, and Dave gets the glory.  Next to God, there is no one who deserves it more than Dave. As the people were so blessed when they realized the personal and financial sacrifices Dave makes for me to be in missions. Some day David, we will have that anniversary on the beach, sipping cool drinks while I fan you. I just wont promise you where!!

Some day David ....Some day...The beaches are beautiful in Haiti.

Thank you David, I love you, and Jesus loves you too. 

Jezi renmen nou.

Wap Toujou Nan Ke m. " I’ll Hold You in My Heart "

Believe it or not, she is my little friend, but likes to play hard to get sometimes.

But I will hold many in my heart very tightly. Other than my family and a few close friends in the US, I have never held so tightly or loved so deeply. (And I am trying not to sob as I write) My Christian brothers and sisters here have captured my heart; they have captured David's as well and we have both shed tears over leaving our new friends.

 Pastor Calixte and Guirda, whose love and hospitality is the salt of the earth. They have become fast friends – examples of those who give of themselves as spiritual leaders to so many. Guirda, who is always making others feel welcome, feeding and caring for them as her own, tirelessly working to see that everyone is content.  Pastor Calixte, whose laughter is contagious and makes even David want to speak Creole to understand his wit, and wisdom, when he preaches. He is a shining example of an overseer of the flock entrusted into his care – and his kind heart breaks for those he cannot help.  

It would be so easy for many to get hard at the endless and overwhelming pain and poverty, but not this dear couple who love deeply and care for each, one (starfish) at a time. They have suffered tremendous pain – all here have, but they help other tirelessly putting themselves behind the people of God to serve. I have learned so much from them. Thank you my friends. You have taught us much in a very short time.

We will remember the warmth and love of Pastor Joseph – who told us he has family in America. When I asked him about it he replied, “I have two family. You and David. When you are the family of Jesus, you are true family.” David is especially touched by Pastor Joseph. May God bless you with joy unspeakable in your new marriage Pastor Joseph. 

Pastor Joshua whose energy is contagious, and his quick smile makes us feel joy just to see it. He loves to praise the Lord in dance and song and you can’t help but join in him in joyful celebration.  We look forward to worshipping with you again my friend. 

Jeff is always willing to help out in the big and the small matters and excited to tell you about what he can do to help. He is a bit of a computer whiz and was invaluable to us a few times.  An example of a young man whose joy is his strength, and whose testimony is strong.  

Pastor Simone, we will not forget his church that has grown to over 2,000 at one service since the earthquake, and he has 3. May God provide what you need to expand your building. Thank you for entrusting your flock to our care by allowing us to teach in your church and preach on Sunday. 

Cristilla whose adorable smile lights up our day, as she shyly giggles when I try to teach her English. Or how happy she was when we purchased pizza and realized it was for her too. (Pour me? Pour me?) Of course silly!  Her internal beauty radiates even brighter than her smile. 

Grandfather – whose smile and love for his grandchildren is evident. His joy in the Lord as he approaches  every task.  Thank you for making me hot water and your example of service.

The children of Pastor Calixte and Guirda, who have given us joy every day and helped to ease the pain in our hearts missing my own dear children, Sam and grandchildren; Jean Carl, Luis em, and Andalina. (I apologize for my spelling if it is incorrect.) 

And Pastor Daniel who has become a dear friend, and brother; my voice in Haiti, and my ears. David’s voice and ears. You have made our experience rich and we thank you for it. You are my staff in Haiti, a trusted co-laborer in Christ’s vineyard. I will miss you my friend.  M pap jan-m bliye – w.  

To my friends in Haiti -  Mesi Anpil!   I will see you soon –  si bondye vle. 

Until that time, M pap jan-m bliye-w. 

Be Careful What You Pray For - Happy Anniversary David

Be Careful What You Pray For - Happy Anniversary David

Happy 28th Anniversary - Visiting Mission of Hope

Today is David and I’s 28^th wedding anniversary.  Happy Anniversary Dave. You make me whole.

David and I spend out anniversary visiting Mission of Hope, Convoy of Hope’s partner in Haiti. Mission of Hope is a lovely complex, clean, well built but simple structures that offer a feeling of openness and hope, as their name implies. The complex is much larger than I expected and has many buildings. They have a nice open eair church, and even a playground and a basketball court where we stopped to compete for a few minutes of basketball. None of the men were putting it in the net and I was hoping to show them up when Pastor Daniel  *FINALLY* put it in the net. 

A small part of MoH

Even though Mission of Hope has only been here about 13 years, it is obvious they are called of God to provide the love and compassion of Jesus Christ, and He has provided for them. The directors were warm, welcoming and Christ filled. 

They have several ministries here, an orphanage, evangelism, medical, feeding, school etc.  They have a team here doing prosthetics for those who lost legs and feet in the earthquake.  It was a privilege and blessing to see the work that MoH is doing here in Haiti. 

The trip to MoH was another one of contrast – country tents and poverty across the road from breathtaking blue seas and mountains in the distance.  Tourism would thrive here if the country had a political system focus on development, and we are praying that the next president provides that. 

 I've been trying to catch some smiles of all my friends by candid footage this week – easier said than done.  This blurry image was my feeble attempt at getting Pastor Daniel to laugh and catch it at the same time.  It is not difficult to get him to laugh, and Dave and I are having fun with him, but it is difficult to catch it. (You reading this Pas?)  

Once again today, he was invaluable as a translator; I want to be part of this wonderful experience and without a speaking or understanding what is said, that would not happen. I am going home to learn Creole for the next trip – just a few more phrases and some understanding would help me. I told him that I would not let him know that I understand Creole and then I will catch him when he thinks I don't know what is being said. That would be awesome!

As we were driving back from MoH, Dave reminded me of how often we have a spoken about spending an anniversary on a tropical island in the absence of ever having a “honeymoon”.  Here we are on a tropical island for our anniversary. Not exactly the sipping fruit cocktails by the beach that I had imagined, but we are quite happy with the Lord’s sense of humor in answering prayer.  We would not trade the friendships we have made or the people we will miss so dearly for all the tropical paradises in the world; they have become our family in less than two short weeks. 

We had Domino Pizza (yes Domino’s is here!) and cold cokes (I love coke with Pizza) as a celebration, and broke into our Milanos and Oreos from last night. 

There was lots of laughter - we find our friends love to laugh, and those who know us also know that laughter wins our hearts. 

Everyone is helping me with my Creole and gets a good laugh over my speaking to David in Creole as well. Occasionally Daniel will forget and translate English for me into – well -English!  

We had intended to visit a family or two that was living in a tent city upon our return, but I have found that exhaustion is beginning to hit hard. Traffic and the conditions of the roads are always difficult, and travel can take twice the time you think it will. We left home at 1:35 in the morning on the 3^rd and we landed with our feet moving. They have not stopped moving since.  We both needed a rest. 

Tomorrow we head back out past Mission of Hope to visit the beaches with Pastor Calixte and Guirda, and we are hoping to meet with Violet for a cup of coffee on the way home. 

 God has a plan for Hesed Hope and we simply have to trust and obey the call; and I am thankful that plan includes Haiti.

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