Though the

The name of Jesus is everywhere in Haiti.

Words cannot describe what I am experiencing here. Today, people started to share their stories as walls came down and the healing love of Jesus was present. One young girl shared her terror t being in school. The day of the earthquake she ran out and the building collapsed on her peers. She is always afraid now and if one person runs, the whole class runs. She wants to  know if she will ever feel well again. She said, “I am a Christian” in a way that begged of understanding from other that she loves God, but is so afraid. 

Another man spoke of the dead children he saw on the way to see if his cousin was alright. He found his cousin dead and how later that night he was numb- now a year later he is haunted. He sits in the front row and his eyes are darkened with pain. He wants to be well – he wants the images to go away. All want to know how to help others to make it from the “Village of No Hope” to the “Village of New Beginnings.

The stories go on, and on and on. The sights, the sounds, the images of swollen bodies, and things I won’t even post because of the gruesome nature.  Miraculously, God preserved so many Christians and there is a powerful testimony in that testimony in that. 

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I had a lot of rice and a little appetite at the meal that’s served. The heat in the church is sweltering. I saved my food – in Haiti every rubber band, every pen or piece of paper, or plastic bag, every grain of rice takes on a new meaning for me. We don’t dare give out money when we pass people– we are quite noticeable – and the people swarm around the car as it is. But standing still in traffic today a poor old women, put out her hand and raised the other to her mouth in the gesture of eating. I quickly grabbed my container of rice and handed it out the window. Her eyes lit up at the sight of food, and my heart broke. My head hurts and I cried a bit, but there is work to do.  The people are so appreciative and they take such good care of me with such deep thankfulness that I am humbled beyond words. 

This morning, they began with praise and then all voiced raised in unison quoted something. I approached Pastor Daniel and asked him what they had quoted. He said, Psalm 46. I looked it up.  I asked him if they had always quoted this Psalm or just after the earthquake. He said they quote several Psalms, 23, 46 and 91.  After quoting the Psalm 46 it was my turn to begin “the program.” After reading the Psalm, I cried as I told the Haitians that their faith is a testimony to the nations.  I could barely speak.

I leave you with this

1God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble.

      Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

     though its waters roar and foam,

though the mountains tremble at its swelling.   Selah

    There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,

the holy habitation of the Most High.

     God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;

God will help her when morning dawns.

      The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;

he utters his voice, the earth melts.

      The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.   Selah

      Come, behold the works of the Lord,

how he has brought desolations on the earth.

      He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;

he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;

he burns the chariots with fire.

    “Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”

    The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.   Selah      (Emphasis mine)

Seminar Day One - Jesus was moved with Compassion

First Day - about 167 attending

Today was the first day of the conference.  Not everyone showed up due to a demonstration in the streets. Many of the people want the current president Preval

to step down, and not remain in power until the March elections.  It could continue into tomorrow, but other than rocks being thrown at the palace, and we stayed clear of that area, things were quiet driving in – just LOTS of traffic. 

We started quite late as a result of the traffic, and got off to a bit of a tough start. We have some hard core believers that cannot grasp the concept that fear and faith can coincide, and see a demon behind emotions.  People are people no matter where you are – we’ve been there.  Being seasoned at this kind of thing by now, I got pretty fired up and by the end of the day, I was told day one went well and everyone was looking forward to tomorrow, and was very thankful that we came. I constantly reminded them that Jesus wept - that he suffered many things and He showed emotion, that He was moved with compasion. I desire to be like my Lord in his suffering and emotions so that I can "comfort others with the comfort I have been comforted with. " The pastors are solid and eager to learn.  When Dave speaks it is with a booming voice, filled with the Holy Ghost and power, and he gets applauded.  (I am getting a complex.) Tomorrow I will continue by reminding them of David, Elijah, Jeremiah etc. and all the emotion they displayed as we talk about "Wounds of the Heart"

Pastor Daniel - my translator, and friend.

This is my translator Pastor Daniel. I have absolutely fallen in love with Daniel, and will most likely sob when I leave. I want him to be my son in law at least, if not a son.  (I would have been a young mother) He is a wonderful, intelligent man with a passion for Jesus, to learn, to grow, filled with kindness and integrity. You see Christ in Him and feel his compassion. He is teaching me Creole as I find I want to know the people in their language.  Not only does he translate my words, but I believe he tries to translate my heart – which is what this work is about – a work of the heart. 

I am challenging the people to really think and learn and tomorrow we will cover the brain (mind) as an organ like the heart, that can wound and need to be healed.  We encouraged them to today to think about what they believe and live it – to reach Haiti for Christ – their only hope. 

Their faith and resiliency is amazing, and even in the earthquake they rest in the hand of God that He is in control of all things. Oh that I would have that kind of faith at all times.  I am praying that they can understand it is not a challenge to their faith to admit they have emotions. 

One woman came up to me crying, and tried to express that she was “so happy you are here. I have been waiting for you. Thank you.” She is a pastors wife and ministers to many.  

Oh, and last night we had goat for dinner – and it was wonderful!  The food is amazing.  I don’t know how I will leave Haiti, without trusting that God will be bringing me back quickly. I have fallen in love with the Haitian Christians and their sense of community which I miss so much.

As I am writing, Guerda, the Superintendant's (our hosts) wife brought me the tea I am enjoying so much. They bring new meaning to the scripture, "given to hospitality. 

Please continue to pray for safety for all, peace in Port au Prince, health and strength. Dave has been badly attacked with allergy type symptoms for over 24 hours now that are causing intense headaches and a sick feeling.  But we press on towards the mark and run the race, not only with endurance, but with the peace and love of Christ as our banner, and the faith of the Haitian Christians as our strength.

God's Plans and Words

Today I was going to preach at an AG church and had my message all prepared. I had been so overwhelmed by the needs here yesterday, but then the Lord spoke to me. He showed me that these Christians – the Christians of Haiti, are the faithful few. Jesus fed 4,000 and 5,000, but He only sent out 72, His closest companions were 12, those he took with him to pray at the garden numbered 3, but at the cross, only John is mentioned.  Only one.

He is RISEN. He is RISEN. He is RISEN. Back up to 12, increasing in the upper room as Pentecost explodes into 3,000 – and more. The gospel is propagated throughout the world changing nations – changing hearts. 

So I shared what God had taught me about Haiti – briefly.

David was pacing this morning before church, restless. We are sitting around a bit more than usual as we are treated so well we do not have much to do at our hosts home. (I am getting spoiled) I asked him what was wrong, and he said, “I am just awake and ready to move.”  I suspected that something more was going on – I had seen that look before. 

During worship (which was loud, joyous, and awesome!) the Lord spoke to me, “I have not seen such faith in all of Israel.”  I looked it up and realized that David had mentioned the Centurion to a Haitian brother last night. I whispered to him, “Do you have a message?” and I saw that look again. He replied that he did, but he was waiting to see if it was God. I asked him if he had the half an hour sermon prepared, and he replied, “Oh, I can easily go half an hour.”  For those who know Dave – a man of few words, and one who does not like to preach often, I knew this was God and I told the church so.  He taught from Ezekiel 34. He told the Haitians that they needed to take back the land and be leaders, in all things – politics, business, and neighborhoods - to be salt, to be a light. That Jesus is the ONLY hope for Haiti. He taught from Jeremiah, and Micah.

It was a blessing to the hearer, and we were also blessed.

I was asked next Sunday to preach at a church of 2,000. I will be praying about what to teach, but more importantly, I will be praying about who should teach. I may be the “Ordained Pastor”, but David may have the Word for Haiti.

Tomorrow – day one of our Seminar. Pray for productive days, for clarity in teaching, and that the healing that has begun in many, will continue with a new understanding of how to serve each other in pain and crisis.  Please pray for me for strength – for both of us – we need it.

Haiti Part 1 and 2

After writing last night I accidentally deleted the post as I tried to download some pictures.

In brief, our lovely hosts live next door to an orphanage and the voices we hear lifted in praise every day are the voices of the orphans.  It amazes me how wonderful they sing without instruments of any kind – a gift both from God, and fitting for King. I am going to go visit them in the next few days. 

The children laughed at my attempt at Creole

Today, I visited what is the only Assemblies of God orphanage, though I don’t think it quite fits the description.  The area was still devastated from the quake, and most of the children are there for a feeding program. Sixty children show up daily for two meals given out by Pastor Solange, the president of the AG, WM’s. Ten are living there now due to poverty, but only two are without either parents. These two were saved because they were at the orphanage at the time of the earthquake – both parents were crushed. The children in the orphanage were saved because they all had a word from God and Pastor Solange called them all downstairs. Even a boy who was cleaning the upstairs bathroom was taken out by the hand of another smaller boy. The upstairs totally collapsed but all the children were saved by the miraculous hand of God. 

The approach to the orphanage is rough – broken houses, tent camps, trash and pile after pile of rubble. The amount of rubble is still intense, one year later. The orphanage consists of two rooms, one is a place to eat and congregate by day, then ten mattresses are piled for the children to sleep.  There is a tiny little kitchen outside in the courtyard that Pastor Solange somehow manages to cook and run a small catering service – she is cooking for the conference of 267.                   The two sisters who lost their parents.

After visiting with her I went to an orphanage that was run by Americans and the contrast was unbelievable. Perhaps if I had not gone on the same day, I would not have felt the difference so keenly, but the difference in those with American support, and those without assaulted me.  There is also a differing philosophy in feeding the multitudes a little, or feeding the few a lot. Right now, Pastor Solange is praying for $130 a day to feed her small group 3 times a day, well, instead of twice a day the minimum. 

So little money to feed so many children. I told her I will not go home without leaving what little we may have left and with a promise to make her heart, and her needs known in the USA. 

I was overwhelmed and cried – the needs are exhaustive and what can be done? Until I remembered the Starfish. Thank you Lord, we start with one.  Tomorrow I am preaching in the church about the Starfish, and at the foot of the cross stood John – the one.

The Crisis of the Soul - Haiti 13 days and counting

      My voice rises to God, and I will cry aloud;
My voice rises to God, and He will hear me.
      2      In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;
In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness;
My soul refused to be comforted.
      3      When I remember God, then I am disturbed;
When I sigh, then my spirit grows faint.      Selah.
      4      You have held my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
      5      I have considered the days of old,
The years of long ago.
      6      I will remember my song in the night;
I will meditate with my heart,
And my spirit ponders:
      7      Will the Lord reject forever?
And will He never be favorable again?
      8      Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?
Has His promise come to an end forever?
      9      Has God forgotten to be gracious,
Or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion?      Selah.
      10      Then I said, “It is my grief,
That the right hand of the Most High has changed.”
      11      I shall remember the deeds of the LORD;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
      12      I will meditate on all Your work
And muse on Your deeds.
      13      Your way, O God, is holy;
What god is great like our God?
      14      You are the God who works wonders;
You have made known Your strength among the peoples.
      15      You have by Your power redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph.                                Selah                PS. 77  NASB


I have been doing much reflecting on suffering and trauma as I prepare and write for Haiti, and the biblical integration of psychological aids in relationship to the biblical language of Lament.  I personally believe that if we are to heal from traumatic events through God's word, it comes through an ability to lament as demonstrated in the Psalms (as well as loving brethren willing to enter into lament with us).

Our emotions connect our inner world to the blessings and difficulties of life, and after a traumatic event our emotions can be unbearable. When we disconnect internally and horizontally with others, we lose our vertical connection to God. I have felt this many times in life (especially recent years and older age) when under great duress as a result of some trial or loss, I have completely disconnected from others - usually in my own pain, and often from a lack of compassion or knowledge of what to do in the face of pain from others. Facing pain in someone else requires facing pain  in ourselves; we want to run from pain.

Death, life-threatening illness, job losses, economic instability all can cause chaos to the mind, the soul, and the horizontal relationships with man - deeply affecting the vertical connection that holds us firmly to the Rock we stand upon, and Father above we cling to.

In the American church we tend to equate emotional struggles with God as a lack of spirituality, losing with that mindset the greater work that God does through our darkest emotions; losing the opportunity to minister in the time of greatest need the love of the Suffering Servant who suffered on our behalf as our example.

Most of us live each day waiting for the next thing - the next moment - the next vacation, the next season, the next job...always believing the next will be better than the present. Joy is never lasting but fleeting and so makes us long for more joy and brings to mind the thing we are missing in life, the PLACE where there is no pain or suffering and joy will be our final state. God has placed within us a longing for joy that can never be filled - a knowledge that there is something far greater than what we possess.

When our dark emotions rise up, we try to suppress them with positive thoughts or actions rather  than delve deeply into the places where God can meet us and bring to the surface the roots of our fears - the depths of our depravity, our deep need for Him.

We see above that Asaph cried in despair, longing to hear the voice of God, to feel his presence. He was unable to pray, to praise, to worship - unable to connect with  God - he questioned His hesed  (lovingkindness v. 8). Asaph was in spiritual distress believing God did not hear his prayers. He was in pain, his nation was in pain - God was not present. 
Only by entering into his grief (v 10) and the pain and darkness of his emotions, could Asaph begin to remember the ways of old. He could recall the promises of God and the deliverance of His people.

It did not change his circumstances or his experience, but it changed his ability to feel God's presence and know Him. He changed his ability to trust. 
 
We are a groaning creation and the our emotions continue to cry from the Garden  for the redemption of our bodies. We are body, soul, and spirit - we are whole beings created in the image of God for something we know is beyond our worldly experience - a place of perfection, of lasting joy. 

      For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.
      23      And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.
      24      For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?
      25      But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. 
                                                                                                                                           Rom. 8   NASB




We groan as Asaph did - we experience the same emotions, the same fallen world, the same suffering, the same longing to ascend to the place where our spirits cry Abba Father, in the living presence of Him who calls us children. Our hope is in Jesus Christ who knows our groanings and intercedes on behalf of our suffering.The ability to embrace deeply and learn from our painful emotions, as unstable as they can be -  gives us the ability to embrace more deeply the joy that can be found in this world as we remain other worldly in our expectations.

May we all be willing to enter into the dark places and wrestle with God - being changed to the image of the Son, as we persevere for the hope we do not see - the redemption of our bodies (soul, mind and spirit). May we not fear the darkness or run from our own emotions, but wait for the Holy Spirit to illuminate, and cleanse, and change us. My prayer for Haiti (and myself) - may God  teach us about Him, in the places of pain and the dark alleys where we are afraid to go.
Amen.

No Greater Love Has a Man Than This - Haiti 2011

"Pa gen pi bon jan pou ou moutre jan ou renmen zanmi ou pase lè ou bay lavi ou pou yo".                                                         (Haitian Creole) John 15:13

                                                                                                                                        

 ^11-15"I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.  

"This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. "
(...lay down your life for your friends... NASB)

You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father. 

As we face our older age, lack of retirement benefits, and the experiential knowledge that "job security" is a myth in our financially driven society,  Dave and I have considered what it means to lay down your life for your friends, and who exactly are our friends. 

Jesus said he did not call us servants but friends. " A close trusting relationship between two people." (Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary)

"Close - Trusting"  How many people call an acquaintance a "friend" only to find out in difficult times they are not really friends. They are not close, and certainly cannot be "trusted."  As the old adage goes, "A friend in need is a friend in deed. "  Or as James 2:18 says, 
"Now someone may argue, "Some people have faith; others have good deeds." But I say, "How can you show me your faith if you don't have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds." NLT

The bible is full of examples of good friends, versus not so good friends. Job's friends are an example of what not to be, and Jonathan's example to King David is a wonderful example of a true trusting relationship. David went through many trials and testings, the Psalms are filled with examples of deep, passionate, unbridled emotion. I have to believe that Jonathan witnessed, accepted and loved David, even when his life was difficult or his confessions not so positive. 

However, even Job's friends can be commended for doing the first step correctly - when he was in pain they  showed up, even sitting silently by him for 7 days as the custom was. It was when they opened their mouths the trouble began. 


We have waited for 13 months to show up on behalf of our Haitian brothers and sisters and put our faith into action - to prove ourselves "trusting" to those we hope to some day call friend. If Jesus could call us friend, then surely we need to prove ourselves worthy of friendship in the model of His acts, His love, his testimony. There are many souls perishing without God, but there are also many souls wounded and near perishing with God, for lack of close, trusting, relationships to help them stand - people willing to come beside them in the midst of pain and turmoil and to hold up a lamp when they are too weak to illuminate the path themselves. Sometimes the light is bright enough, but they just need a hand to guide them  to prevent them from stumbling when the path is rocky. 


Aristotle said a friend is a, "single soul dwelling in two bodies."

May we be united in the spirit to be a light, a support, and a friend to our Haitian brothers and sisters. May God grant us the wisdom to instruct them in exactly what they need to hear, to illuminate their paths, and uphold their steps.  May we be worthy of their trust, and may we be a friend to them, by the example that Jesus gave as our trusted friend. May we be wiling to lay down our lives for our friends. May our joy be full in His service and may that joy be reflected in the lives of our brothers and sisters. May the name of Jesus be glorified in all we say and do, that His name - the name above all names - is lifted high and praised.  Amen.