Domestic Violence and the CHURCH

Why am I writing about domestic violence today? I was again reminded by a caring and compassionate young friend of mine, just how prevalent this issue is.

For many of you who have never taken our crisis and disaster response trainings, it is one of the topics we touch upon - education and awareness of how many sitting in your pews may be the victims of domestic or sexual abuse. Abuse that the church often condones under the guise of submission, marital rights, or covenant.

• An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. 
• 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
• Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
• Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
• Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
• Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
• 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.

  
QUESTIONS YOU MAY ASK IF YOU SUSPECT DOMESTIC   VIOLENCE or ABUSE

          From my experience, I know that abuse and violence at home is a problem for many women.

       Is it a problem for you in any way?

      Have you ever felt unsafe or threatened in your own home?

  

     

 Ways to ask about abuse when there are physical signs of abuse:

                  

                           Has anyone hurt you ?

               The injuries you have suggest  to me that someone hit you.      Is that possible?  

               In my experience, women often get these kinds of injuries when someone hits them in some  way.          Did someone hit you?

Ways to ask about emotional abuse:

1.               

                        Does someone call you names? Or try to control what you do? 

              Does anyone you are close to criticize your friends or family?    

              Often, when a woman feels suicidal as you so, it means she is being abused at home. Is this   happening to you? 

It is important to be sensitive to the woman's experience, particularly her isolation and fear for her personal safety. It is never helpful to make light of the situation or to ask questions such as "what did you do to make it happen?"

Ways to ask about sexual abuse in the relationship:

 

Asking about sexual abuse is important but may be very distressing for the patient. Therefore, it is usually best to wait until rapport has been established before asking about this type of abuse. 

1                       Have you ever been forced to have sex with your partner when you didn't want to?   

 

   Has your partner ever forced you to take part in sexual acts you didn't feel good about? 

WHAT TO DO NEXT?  (Preferably you already have sought out these resources)

Equip yourself with information about local domestic violence resources - shelters, counseling services, community action groups, friends who are willing to be a safe haven away from the local congregation etc. 

An excellent resource is:  faithtrustinstitute.org 

Train with us to learn more about serving  your church and community in crisis and disaster compassionate care. 

www.hesedhope.org

Compassionate Acts - The Foretaste of Christ

 “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
   Rev. 21:3-4


We are the temples of God - the visible workings of Christ's love on earth. When we minister in acts of mercy and compassion towards others, we bring a foretaste of God's kingdom to earth as we help, "wipe every tear from their eyes."  For many, our acts may be the first foretaste of God's love that they have seen. We cannot heal a persons heart, or take away their pain, but we can provide a foretaste of the love of God by being the vessel to help them.
                     
We have been shown infinite, unmeasurable, grace and mercy. Grace is so often explained or defined as, "unmerited favor." When we are helping others in need, we should be showing them the same favor - the same grace, that God has bestowed upon us. We help for the sake of love and only love, without any preconceived notions as to what the end result should be. We stand in the gap for just a moment, taking upon their pain if they will let us, to bear a burden with them. We give them a foretaste of what the love of God is like.

Luke 24:19 says of Jesus, "He was a man of God, a prophet, dynamic in work and word, blessed by both God and all the people. "  Jesus was dynamic in work, and as a result was not only blessed by God, but by others! He did not only speak the word - but mostly he acted in love. He touched blind eyes, he fed the hungry, healed the lepers, raised the dead, lifted the cripple, ministered to the hated, freed the oppressed, all without expectations.

Maybe by helping others, they will begin to, "taste and see that the Lord is good." 
                                                                                                                             

Why Volunteer? Better Health?

Could the following results be because as we are created in the image of God, in the image of Christ, therefore we are designed to do His service?

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.   Genesis 1:27

"Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. "  Col. 1:15a

 I posted a portion of an article I just read below,  and while reading it, I could not help but think about how many middle-aged and retired couples, have told me that their lives were changed forever as a result of disaster work. 

“A study tracking senior citizen volunteers has found that those who are primarily interested in helping others rather than trying to feel better about themselves are likelier to live longer.

Earlier research has found that those who volunteer are apt to live longer than those who don't volunteer. But the new study, published in Health Psychology, suggests that those who volunteer with pure motives live longer than those concerned with self-oriented reasons. Research took other factors such as existing physical health into account.

Sara Konrath, lead author of the University of Michigan report, says altruistic volunteers - especially those who serve regularly and frequently - are at a lower risk for mortality. The study compared volunteers at age 65 and again at age 69.

While there isn't anything necessarily bad about volunteering to advance one's career, to escape problems or to increase self-esteem, such motives don't lead to improved health, Konrath found. However, if a person's goal is to help others, promote a sense of deep and lasting well-being, or to engage in service bigger than oneself, it can provide a healthy impact.” 

I especially like the last statement, “…help others, promote a sense of deep and lasting well- being, or to engage in service bigger than oneself…” 

Those statements perfectly explain the pastoral care, chaplaincy, emotional and spiritual care, and practical needs, we train others to engage in.

Join us. Make a difference in the lives of others. You will make a difference in your own life as well. 
www.hesedhope.org
 
    "Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. “Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.” Matt. 9:36-38

Why Hesed? Loyal Love

HESED HOPE MINISTRIES 

Many people ask what hesed means, so I decided to put the intro page or our training manual reprinted here, in response to this often asked question. 

Why Hesed? 

Hesed is a word that embodies all the characteristics of God.  It is an untranslatable word that attempts to define an untranslatable God.  

Hesed can translate as love, and has many uses under the umbrella of “love.”  Some translations of hesed include kindness, mercy, loving-kindness, loyalty, unexpected favor, unsolicited love, unmerited forgiveness, enemy love, or compassionate grace. The idea that hesed expressed grace, is what caused the translators of the King James Bible to translate with words like mercy and kindness. 

The translators of the New International Version tend to translate hesed with the English word love, and though that is also an accurate translation identifying with God’s commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself”, it tends to omit the covenantal meaning intertwined in God’s hesed. 

The New Revised Standard Version translates hesed as steadfast love, to express it as the “promise keeping love” that is implied in its various Hebrew uses. The steadfast love of the Lord keeps us: “When I thought, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.” Ps. 94:18. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy, blot out my transgression.” Ps 51:1. 

Steadfast love has the concept of loyalty. The loyalty of God:  redemption from enemies and troubles; in preservation of life from death; in quickening of spiritual life; in redemption from sin; in keeping the covenants, with Abraham; with Moses and Israel.

The loyalty of man in: kindness of men towards men, in doing favors and benefits; kindness extended to the lowly, needy and miserable; mercy. 

“Steadfast love is the long, stubborn love of God. In hesed God stays faithful to us long after we have forfeited our right to remain in covenant with him.” 

Jesus is hesed incarnate. God did not take pleasure in sacrificing His only son, but he takes pleasure in securing our relationship to Him. He desires for us to feel secure in His infinite and steadfast love towards us so we may exemplify that love towards others. 

Hesed us the steadfast love of God to the Israelites, Ruth to Naomi (Ruth 1:16), Jonathan to David (I Sam. 20:14-17), and Christ towards us, as Paul writes, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord: (Rom. 8:38:39)

More Hesed Scriptures:

Ps. 136 The word translated love is hesed.

 Hesed in God remembering His people: Jeremiah 12:15; Ezekiel 39:25; Isaiah 30:18, 63:9; Habakkuk 3:2; Samuel 24:14; Psalm 23:25-26; 40:11; 51:1; 69:16; 79:8; 103:4. 

OUR MINISTRY SCRIPTURE:

⁸He has shown all you people what is good.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.                  Micah 6:8

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.        Matt. 23:23-24 

HOW ARE WE TO EXPRESS GOD’S HESED?

 Rabbi Simlai in the third century noted that Moses gave us 365 prohibitions and 248 positive commands. David in Psalm 15 reduced them to eleven: Isaiah—in 33:14, 15—made them six: Micah 6:8 binds them into three: and Habakkuk reduces them all to one, namely—”The just shall live by faith.”  (Hab. 2:4); (Romans 1:17)

So, by being “steadfast” and “loyal” to the THREE most recent positives set forth by Micah, executed by the ONE (faith) stated by Habakkuk – knowing faith without works is dead, being alone, we express God's hesed - through loyal acts of love in action and deeds. (James 2:20) 

In ministry and in our personal lives, we have learned that it is only HOPE in God's loyal love, His covenant grace, that has kept our feet firm in the darkest hours of our lives, and the lives of those we minister to. Hesed Hope - hope in God's loyal love.

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Volunteer Focus

Due to a lack of trained staff in Vermont, we are sending volunteers to other organizations to volunteer.

We are collaborating with some churches in our district to provide pastoral care as the disaster unfolds in areas south of Rutland. 

Please pray for Vermont, especially the faith based organizations that have limited funding, but are striving to show the love of God.

BINGHAMTON / OWEGO NY

Volunteers are needed for Binghamton and Owego, NY for mud outs and general clean up.

We will be there on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of this week (16 to 18th) Meals and housing is provided. Just bring yourselves, compassion, and a willingness to serve.




Mature Pastors and other lay leaders and mature Christians with CPE, or Disaster Experience are needed to provide pastoral care as well. One to two week deployments. Meals and housing provided. Email me for more details. jamie@hesedhope.org


Please contact me at jamie@hesedhope.org; www.hesedhope.org

If you can't give of your time or are limited in helping due toe health reasons, financial Donations are always appreciated and help to get other people in the field. You can donated via paypay on our web page. www.hesedhope.org 

Volunteers and Chaplains Needed for State Wide and Local Clean Up in VT and NY

We are collaborating with VOAD and other state and local organizations to develop teams of volunteers for "Mud Out".

We need volunteers willing to donate a day, or several days to help home owners clean up their homes. Older youth groups and adults are welcome.

We also need pastoral care providers, chaplains and especially those with CISM and disaster experience for deployments lasting one week or more if possible.

We will find local housing and meals.

Last, we need churches throughout NY and VT who will house and provide meals for volunteers in the communities near them who were hit by Irene. 

The safest and most effective way to help, is by joining up with an established organization like ours. 

People are often prevented from going into sights that are not part of a recognized organization, and most importantly, they should be. During disasters many volunteers are injured because they become a liability to the rescue operation due to a lack of knowledge or experience. Even the most skilled of us end up injured at times, as we learned on our recent disaster with two injuries. Disaster sights and disasters are unpredictable.

At this time, VT still has many roads closed and even a small rain fall can cause the already existing situations to become hazardous again, stranding volunteers who them become victims of the disaster.

We are in constant contact with state and local authorities to stay abreast of road and weather hazards, as well as where we are most needed.

Please sign up with Hesed Hope for Mud Out and other volunteer opportunies by writing to me at:
jamie@hesedhope.org

 And visit our web page at: www.hesedhope.org